Arkady Averchenko: "It is difficult to understand the Chinese and women"

“It’s hard to understand Chinese and women. I knew the Chinese, who for two or three years patiently sat on a piece of ivory as big as a nut. With this whole army of tiny knives and nail files, the Chinese cut out the ship from this shapeless piece - a miracle of cunning and patience: the ship had all the tackles, sails, carried the appropriate amount of crew, each of the sailors was the size of a poppy seed, and the ropes were so thin that they did not even cast shadows - and all this was to nothing ... Not to mention that it was impossible to make the most insignificant trip on such a vessel - the ship itself was so fragile and fragile that one light touch of the palm destroyed satanic work g upogo Chinese. Women's lies often remind me of a Chinese ship the size of a nut - a lot of patience, cunning - and all this is completely aimless, to no avail, everything is dying from a simple touch. ”

"Life loves to joke and laugh even at death."

“The most significant difference between a wedding and a funeral is that they cry at the funeral immediately, and after the wedding only a year later. However, sometimes they cry on another day. ”

“I, you see, are not from the sort of people who, meeting with a woman, fall in love with her, not paying attention to many negative things in her. I do not agree that love is blind. I knew such simpletons who fell madly in love with women for their beautiful eyes and silvery voice, not paying attention to too low a waist or big red hands. I in such cases do not. I fall in love with beautiful eyes and a gorgeous voice, but since a woman cannot exist without a waist and arms, I go in search of all this. I find the second woman - slim, like Venus, with charming handles. But she has a sentimental, whiny character. It may be good, but very, very rarely ... What follows from this? What should I find a woman with a sparkling beautiful character and a wide spiritual scope! I’m going, looking ... So there were six of them! ”

“There is an old distribution of anecdote narrators into four categories: 1. When the narrator retains a serious expression on his face, and the listeners roll with laughter ... 2. When the narrator himself laughs, and the listeners ... 3. When the narrator keeps his stomach from laughing, and the listeners, dangling head, sullenly silent ... 4. When the students, armed with chairs and wine bottles, embarrassedly beat the narrator ".

"Philosophers and children have one noble trait - they do not attach importance to any differences between people - neither social, nor mental, nor external."

“A woman, even the most disinterested, appreciates in a man the generosity and breadth of nature. A woman is poetic, but what could be more prosaic than a stinginess? ... "

“My would be, I would only recognize children and for people. As a person stepped over the age of a child, so he has a stone around his neck and into the water. Therefore, an adult is almost entirely a bastard. ”

“Faithful Penelope waited for him, spending time with her fiancés. The bridegrooms really wanted to marry her, but she reasoned that it was much more fun to have thirty bridegrooms than one husband, and blew up the unfortunate, delaying the wedding day. In the afternoon, Penelope weaved, at night she flogged weaved, and at the same time her own son Telemachus. This story ended tragically: Odysseus is back. ”

“We all suffer from fools. If you were ever offered a choice: who do you want to deal with - a fool or a fraudster? - feel free to choose a scammer.

Against a fraudster, you have your own intelligence, wit and tact, there are laws that will protect you, there is your cunning, which you can turn against its cunning. In the end, it is an honest, worthy struggle.

But what can protect you against a fool? Never in the previous minute do you know what he will throw out in the next. Will he fall from your roof over your head, rush to your feet, bite you or embrace you ... - who will get into the secrets of a dark, foolish psyche?

A fraudster is a math obeying known laws, a fool is a lottery that does not obey any laws or systems. ”

“Never show that you are smarter than a child; having felt your superiority, he, of course, will respect you for the depth of his thoughts, but he himself will immediately go into himself, hide like a snail in the shell. ”

Watch the video: "EL LADRÓN" Arkady Averchenko (March 2020).